'What is in the 'reformed Doner meat?' I hear you ask. Your guess is as good as mine
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I have absolutely no respect for my health or the longevity of my internal organs so agreed to pit a microwave frozen kebab against the real deal.
Never in all of my 29 years on this planet have I wondered 'what does that frozen kebab taste like'. If I'm honest it wasn't a food I thought could be frozen but we're making ever increasing leaps as a species with each passing day.
Having previously pitted the frozen version of a Big Mac and McNuggets against the fast food classics, I have a vague idea of what to expect. So I embarked on a small odyssey to find the Snacksters XL Doner Kebab which I eventually discovered in the frozen aisle at Morrisons in Anlaby.
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The Snacksters XL Doner Kebab (with 50% more meat) can be found at Iceland, Tesco Sainsburys or Morrisons and will set you back £1.70 when bought from the frozen aisle. For that price you will get "cooked and sliced seasoned reformed chicken and mutton doner meat served in a soft flatbread with sachets of chilli sauce and garlic mayonnaise".
Yum. What is in the 'reformed Doner meat?' I hear you ask. Your guess is as good as mine, on the ingredients list the Doner meat is listed as 47% then within that 32% is chicken and 24% is mutton. Best not to ask what the missing percentages are made of.
The Doner is the granddaddy of British kebab fare, when you talk about a kebab it is the Doner that will usually come to mind. Often made with questionable meat, it is the end of the night meal that everyone is just a little bit worried about eating the morning after.
When pitting the microwave kebab against the real deal, I didn't think it would be fair to go to anywhere that is labelled the 'best in Hull' or similar. However I do have certain standards so I opted to pop in to Anlaby Square Pizza on my route home.
The takeaway has scored a five star food hygiene rating and has amassed a decent rating of four stars out of five on most rating sites. I knew the kebab was going to be alright from the moment the cashier called me "boss" across the counter. Doner kebab with salad and a choice of sauce was £6.
So on to the cooking of our Snacksters special, I'm back microwaving meat and I'm still not happy about it. Three layers of kebab meat are going in with the pitta alongside for one minute.
After that some assembly is required as we take our microwaved bread and meat out and arrange them together before the final one minute and 20 seconds of cooking time. While all this is happening our chilli and garlic sauces are defrosting in the cup of warm water.
None of the cooking process has inspired me to think this meal will blow my expectations out the water and I'd have been intrigued to try the non XL version as there seems to be very little meat involved as it is. The kitchen has been filled with a fairly pungent smell that hasn't cleared after 24 hours.
For the taste test I decided to tart up the Snacksters XL with a bit of salad to make it a fair contest and the end result wasn't actually awful. The pitta was a bit tough in places, as microwaved bread tends to be, and the meat was lightly seasoned if I'm being polite.
The garlic and chilli sauces were actually quite tasty (despite getting quite warm due to my negligent cooking) and the overall effect wasn't too far from eating the real thing. The one aspect that lets it down is the size, when I see XL on the box I'm expecting a fair bit of food but that isn't the case here.
You get your £1.70 worth but not much more. For three times the price admittedly, I got more food that I would normally eat in two sittings from Anlaby Square Pizza.
The pitta was good and remained soft when I was giving it the true test of eating it the following lunchtime. Meat was fine, salad was crunchy and the sauce was tangy. A very solid kebab.
The true test of the two products is would I rather have three Snacksters XL Doner Kebabs fresh out of the microwave or would I have one kebab from Anlaby Square Pizza. In truth there is little competition.
Doner kebabs are a risky business at the best of times and taste even more risky when they've been through the microwave. Even for £1.70 I would say this is one experience to give a bit of a miss.
I tried it so you don't have to. Back with more food reviews soon which hopefully don't involve microwaved frozen meat.